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Fear is a normal reaction and emotion. How to overcome the fear of failure in business? That is the question! Fear has many faces, and every person has different fears. But we all are fearful of failure. Why? Because we are desperately seeking praise, as little children do.
I believe that is completely normal because we all are social creatures, and we all want to belong to a group, family, or somebody like our partners. We are programmed, trained by our parents and society to function in our cultures.
By now, you know that our cultures have different values, even it has begun to submerge becoming international. I think certainly for women is this a good development.
Women are still suppressed in many cultures and many homes, so I think women should take on responsibility for their own life, getting out of abusive relationships, parents, or partners; it doesn’t matter.
Where people are getting suppressed, abused and misused, is always a disaster. I think anyone should ever be suppressed and abused, never!
We are made beautiful by our God, and we all have our place. In conservative families, the woman is still looking after the husband and the children, and I think this is good.
But the woman should have the freedom to chose this position, not automatically pressed in because of the culture and morals of that country.
A woman has completely different talents as a man, and that is beautiful like the man is beautiful as her protector and provider. Many women seek such a man to feel safe; very often, women don’t let you know, pretending they are strong and don’t need a man. I did that, and lots of my girlfriends were pretending that they love to be alone, still always on the search for a partner.
A man should not misuse his position by violating her. God says in the bible that a man should love her as he loves himself. That says everything. A woman compliments a man, and likewise. But I am not writing about the relationship of men and women, but about how we overcome fear in business.
Why Do We Have Fears?
Fear is a completely normal feeling. Our reptile brain knows only our reflections, like breathing, swallowing, temperature regulation, replanting, fleeing, fighting, or freezing. These are all normal reactions that occur in our reptile brain.
When people meet a dangerous animal, they have three options; first of all, they have fear; this fear lets them flee, fight, or freeze. We all experience this during a day. Maybe not that problematic as meeting a dangerous animal, but we all experience all sorts of fear which keeps us occupied emotionally, captured in tension.
We can experience fear of our boss, public speaking, meeting a man, spider, and mice. There are so many possibilities of experiencing fear; you can’t imagine. The fear felt in special situations like someone is violent against us can save our life, makes it necessary to survive!
When fear is unrealistic and unnecessary, going to a public place makes us anxious about getting belittled and rejected, an irrelevant feeling. It is fear developed by being criticized by your parents or other authorized persons in your life as a child.
Parents should never do that, but unfortunately, they have their own frustrations and fears replacing them with their children. Grown-ups will experience problems with fear and depression depending on their character.
My parents loved to belittle and criticize me, I have been mainly wrong, and I have suffered from depression and a feeling of being low all my life, leading to self-sabotaging behavior in my life. But I never have given up and worked on myself, to love and to respect myself.
That is the key! If you start loving and respecting yourself, you already have freed yourself from allowing others to bring you down. That is a vital step towards freedom!
Fear of Failure
All people are afraid of failure because dealing with low self-esteem is not something we love to do. As children, we long to get attention and be praised for something we have done well, or sometimes just for the person we are. Children need this praise to develop self-confidence, learning to love and respect themselves and others. If they are encoded negatively, receiving constant messages, they are nothing, having nothing, being nothing, they are set up to fail in life.
It is like a curse placed on their life and person. If they live this curse, being anxious about failure, they attract failure. Making the wrong decisions, people are becoming what their parents have messaged them.
I don’t say that as an excuse because I believe that we are responsible for our own decisions and results in our lives when we are adults. But it is harder to recognize the messages deep engraved into our brain and decoding them. But it is possible!
Mistakes and failure are not bad things. It keeps us grounded, and we can shake it off and stabilize ourselves if we have fallen. We learn from mistakes if we are open and not staying in our self-sabotaging behavior.
There are business people who use failures or mistakes to grow becoming successful in their business. That is the right attitude! There is no failure but a possibility to learn and improve. Having many coaches out there; if you need help, don’t hesitate; get help!
It is about improving and keep on walking! 🙂
Fear of Rejection
Fear of failure is strongly connected with the fear of rejection. Do you still remember as a child when you have been disapproved because of something you did by your parents or teacher? I remember this feeling that dragged me down, especially if you didn’t know what you have done to be treated like that.
Adults are often frustrated, full of fear themselves, and need someone weaker to get rid of their uncomfortable feelings. As a child, you are always the victim; being depending on your parents makes it difficult to argue with your parents or teacher or leaving them.
Often, adults are stressed out during the day by their plenty of work they have to perform, pressing them down by their many sorrows.
You are now grown up and experience all kinds of difficulties yourself throughout your day; maybe it helps see your parents from a different angle now. It is all understandable to a certain point.
I have forgiven my parents because I can imagine the fearful children of the second world war they have been, the time of being hungry, having fear, didn’t received enough attention. After all, the parents have been busy with their daily tasks, trying to feed the family, having experienced the war.
If you can forgive them, it will help you grow out feelings of unforgiveness, self-pity, and anger. As a result of the rejection, I felt all my life low and not loved. Actually, I always felt guilty, even I have done nothing. Guilt has pressed me down, which is not a good feeling, leaving me short of reacting healthy.
But I tell you, you can outgrow those feelings, becoming a self-confident person. My action is to try to stay open and transparent, seeking contact if I have doubts or feel insecure, not in my family because they are not open, but quite superficial due to hiding every uncomfortable negative feeling.
I don’t need that, but honest, open relationships. I love my family, but I am not saying anything anymore to them; that is the best I can do, living my own life. When you change your view and attitude towards yourself, you will attract the right persons and situations, especially love, respect, and success will come into your life! Believe me! It is all in you!
Fear of Success
If you have been belittled as a child and felt rejected all your life, you will have a hard time being successful! I said already it is like a curse spoken over your life that needs to be broken. If you are afraid of succeeding, you will not have a successful business.
Obviously, you need to overcome this feeling, and very often, you don’t know that deep inside you lies self-sabotage that hinders you from building up a success but creates failure over failure. Even your choice of a partner is mainly made by your unconscious thoughts about yourself and others and your life.
If you are used to getting rejected and fail, you will reject yourself and finally fail to show everyone, even yourself, that you are a failure and have to be rejected.
That is really serious, and if you do not start to see that and change your picture of yourself, you will always do everything unconsciously, leading to failing, keeping up the picture others and you have of yourself.
Get books about healing your mind, or visit a good therapist, but do something about your self-views. If you can affirm everything I have explained here, most likely, you are sabotaging yourself. However, it is time to grow out of this negative habit, starting to love yourself, bringing your life to success!
That is freedom! And you deserve freedom, love, respect, and success! Big success!
The programming of your mind has started in your childhood. However, you still can reprogram your own thoughts about yourself, breaking free of irrational fears coming finally to freedom and full life without holding yourself back from the beauty of living. Fears can all decrease if you are fully conscious of them and their damaging effects on your life.
We are what we think!
If you think “I am successful,” you are going to be successful! First, you need to face your fears and start loving and respecting yourself by learning from your failures and mistakes!
Open that port to your successful life!
If you have recognized yourself on some points reading this article, I would love to hear from you. Please tell me what you have experienced, what you think, what you feel, and let me know in the comment section below! You are not alone!
To Your Success,