a woman reading the bible

Please, read my Affiliate Disclosure Here!

The bible, proverbs 18:21 says, ” The tongue has the power of life and death!

What does it mean, the power of your tongue? If children have healthy parents, they will grow up, be praised, and understood, positively developing their personality. They will be allowed to fail, make mistakes, wrong decisions, having positive and negative attitudes.

These children will learn to make the right decisions by knowing mistakes and failures belong to life as happiness and joy do. They will understand owning particular talents; they might not be able to succeed in all their tasks. Allowing them to choose the right profession according to their preferences might help them live a balanced life.

If children come from unhealthy parents, they will learn that they are nothing, that failure is a shame, that they will never succeed, are not beautiful, and not intelligent. Their parents might push them into learning a profession they don’t like. Suppressed and belittled, they might see life as a heavy burden, developing depression, self-hatred, social loneliness,  anger, fear, feeling empty, and never allow themselves to be happy.

They might choose the wrong partners, living a life being violent or destroying their dignity by allowing others to suppress them. There are so many forms of expressions depending on your character and damaged imagine of yourself, leading to many scenarios in life.

The power of the tongue lifts people or cuts them down. We all are victims, we all are perpetrators, nobody is free. You heard about children who get mobbed by others in school, being insulted terribly, sometimes ending in suicide, but also in an amok race killing several people. It depends on your mindset in your childhood, fear or anger. Of course, this describes two extreme forms of how such suppression of people can end.

Most times, we all are in some situations a victim, feeling low and depressed, or an offender, hurting others by labeling them. Think of relationships, marriages. Your tongues have the power to give life to your partner, your child, friends, other people, or simple death. We should try always to speak life to people.

What does it mean?

the power of your Tongue!- Death or Life!

I have given you an example. Speaking death to people means bringing them constantly down by degrading people showing a deeper reason for doing this. If you have suffered neglect and verbal violence by your family, you will most likely not be able to respect and love yourself. Instead of feeling loved, there will be an empty grey feeling in your heart, covering you in a dull dark presence that surrounds you, drawing people’s energy.

Maybe you are constantly negative about things; everything is viewed and labeled negatively. Such people can kill the joy in others, especially in children depending on them. If you had an angry or depressed parent, you are most likely influenced. Mostly these parents are imbalanced; anger, depression, and feeling guilty towards their child, knowing precisely that they don’t have their feelings under control and harm their child.

Feeling guilty, they treat their child in an imbalanced manner, yelling or ignoring it, on the other hand trying to show love, maybe by giving a present. The devastation for this child is that it grows up receiving messages about its self-value, leaving it feeling the same as the parents have signaled. Most likely, the child is doing the same again to others if it doesn’t break this circle.

an indian girl

We all have strong and weak moments, but if you are generally healthy, knowing yourself very well, you are communicating about your feelings, owning your anger, depression, fear, or frustration. You will not use children or others to live out your negativity in the wrong way.

Mainly children depend on their parents’ praise and contentment. They receive the message that they are responsible for their parents or other authorities’ negative feelings and dissatisfaction, giving them an unjust sense of guilt, a continued companion staying with them, even when they are grown-up adults.

If you have a problem with yourself, visit a psychologist before you destroy your children’s dignity. Get help!

What is Self- Cursing?

Suppose your emptiness and false guilt are your constant companion due to the messages your imbalanced parents have conveyed to you. In that case, you will have built up an inner message system that tells you the wrong facts about people in your life and yourself. You have internalized the messages so strongly that you have created your world impacted by your damaging thoughts about yourself.

We all do that! If we have heard as a child that we are guilty of our parents’ sorrows and discontent, we try to remeet these feelings by pleasing others and being focused on others’ happiness instead of ours. Most time, this view is not matching our needs, and we resent other people who don’t know how we feel. The imbalance between the internalized thoughts and our needs can make us very ill, weakening our immune system that shows the power of our thoughts.

If you think about yourself the same ideas your parents have delivered onto you, you will create a bomb that, finally exploding, might damage another person or yourself, depending on your character. It is essential to change your mindset from weak to strong in a positive way. If you always feel low and guilty for everything, it is time to ask for help and start changing your mind. Otherwise, you are creating your failures by cursing your life.

Suppose you have manifested a negative picture of yourself in your mind, and you are meditating and recalling it every day. In that case, you create your world with all the failures and imaginations you have encrypted into your mind and heart. You have become a curse to yourself, trying to keep up the created picture you have received initially from other people.

People treating you the same way your parents have treated you is a sign that you have ingested your parents’ or other adults’ opinions who have influenced you during your childhood. Beginning to live this picture, you keep yourself small.

Now you are an adult, grown-up, and mature, so it is time to stop this behavior and start blessing yourself by speaking positively into your life. Blessing yourself using your tongue will break that curse!

How to Break That Spoken Curse?

a fire

There is another powerful scripture in the Bible.

James 3/5 ” Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!

3/6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The language is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body and sets on fire the course of nature, and it is set on fire by hell.

3/7 For every kind of beast and bird, reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by humanity.

3/8 But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

3/9 With it, we bless our God and Father, and with it, we curse men who have been made in the similitude of God.

3/10 Out of the same mouth, proceed blessing and cursing!

We have the power to give life or death, blessing or curse.

And we do; we curse other people, innocent children, victims of our self-hatred. But we also condemn ourselves, keeping up a received picture with nothing to do with reality but is created by other people.

So don’t keep that false picture alive, and start speaking life into your life! Break the curse by speaking life and blessings over you! That is the only way to stop the self-fulfilling prophecy you keep up by thinking the same false thoughts about yourself.

At the moment, you speak blessings about yourself and your life; you will stop the curse and change your life. Water the seeds by speaking life, beauty, blessings into your life. You will finally think differently about yourself and start to love and respect your person.

People will change too, and start respecting you, a condition that only you can change.

You change; people in your life change! You have the power to stop all the curses and switch them to blessings!

Welcome Into Your Life!

As a child, we didn’t know better. Many children are mobbed because of low self-esteem, but as an adult, they should mature, not allowing their negative mindset to keep them down.

a woman in a blue dress opening wide her arms, smiling, standing in a field of yellow flowers

Speaking curses into your life will finally make them alive; you create your world. Even if you are a Christian, believing in God and His Blessings and Love, you still can keep yourself small and curses alive. It is time to break these deadly messages about yourself by starting to speak God’s words into your life.

You will be renewed and regain your life! By speaking life, you invite blessings beginning to flower in your future,  opening the floodgates of heaven.

You change the creation of your world and build a new picture; changing your mind, heart, speaking blessings will create respect and love for yourself, and finally, change the people around you. They will notice the new light in your life, your positive mindset, and your attitude.


The power of your tongue brings you life or death. Even if you have kept small as a child, you can change your world from death to life, from curse to blessing. Nobody can change your situation, but you can! Start to speak life over yourself, stop a negative mindset by releasing blessings into other people’s lives, and into your life.

See what will happen! You are the captain of your ship!

Choose Blessings, not Curse! Choose Life, not Death! 

Please tell me about your experiences! Do you have created your dilemma by speaking death to your life? I would like to know!

My number #1 recommendation!

To Your Success,


Please follow and like us:

12 Thoughts on “The Power of Your Tongue! – Death or Life”

  • This post resonates with me really well. You have beautifully put into words what my mom has always preached to us as we were growing up. She always used to say to choose your words carefully, because you can never take them back and they can either bring life or death. I agree with so many points you have made about children being mobbed of having a better mindset if all they have seen is their parents arguing or using foul language/ behaviors. This is so damaging to anyone’s inner worth, outlook on life, and their ability to lead a positive life also. I have friends who are very underconfident of themselves because of how they have been raised. But they could do and be so much more only if they change their mindset and allow themselves to. If only a lot more people read the Bible carefully, the world would be a better place. Thanks for sharing this invaluable information, Sylvie! 🙂

    • Thank you very much for your beautiful comment, Sasha! I appreciate it very much! Yes, You are so right that if we don’t be careful using our words, we cut people down or raise them. I know that healing already occurs when parents apologize for their mistakes and wrong, hurtful words they have used on their children. You can see that a burden is taken from their life. At this moment, healing can start, and joy comes back. I would love to see parents noticing their power on their children. The world would be a better place!

  • It is indeed a curse to live with when others hurt you with their tongue during your childhood. It was my childhood and it took me many years and errors to get over it, more than a decade to heal and put my past behind me, and most importantly not repeat the mistakes my parents made with me.
    I have met people who were showering me with gifts I never asked for, and I often wondered about that, and it seems indeed as if they are making up for something, as if handing out the gifts is a replacement for love. So, in fact, these people haven’t truly healed either … Now when I meet a new person in my life and they start gifting me things over and over, I get very wary of them … In the end, they often explode due to the poison they have been building up inside themselves, replacing love with gifts because it is the only way they can show love …

    • Yes, Christine, I can relate to this very much. Some people can only show their love by giving you presents. My experience is that very often, there is an expectation added, and they are so badly hurt that it is difficult to set boundaries saying ‘No’ to them. I would love it if parents saw that they have such power over their children. Abusing that power is devastating for the child and finally for the adult. I hope that you have found a way to value yourself, knowing that you are a beautiful treasure to the world.

  • Dear Sylvie,
    I love your posts! They are full of positive energy, peace, hope and love. I like the way you put words from the Bible that encourage and give hope. In the Bible, the significance of the word is great, even God himself is called the Logos (word). As you said in the text, words have the ability to wound or heal us. We can bless or curse with words. The choice is ours. And so often we say something without thinking that will hurt others. Rarely do we say something nice. That is why we have so many unhappy people in the world. All of them have in common the pain inflicted on them by the words of someone close, parent, partner, friend… If we only knew how many beautiful and encouraging words can save a person! If they knew that, they would say clean, gentle, encouraging words and thus beautify their lives and the lives of the people around them. I hope that people will understand that after reading this text.
    Thank you for writing such inspiring texts to help us be better.
    Keep going!

    • Thank you very much for your beautiful comment, Danijela! Yes, God’s Word is powerful and healing us very much! It is so essential to speak words of praise and love to a child, so it knows to say them to others. Hurting parents are very often hurtful to their children. I am not angry with my parents because I have forgiven them, but it helped me see them as little children in world war 1. What did they have to go through, the fear, the anger, the pain? It is a terrible cycle that needs to be broken; otherwise, we give the pain to our children who need so much loving words to grow up and become a beautiful person. The world would be a better place, but it is, of course, still not paradise.

  • Hi Sylvie, I was wondering where this article led to, because at first (knowing your other articles) I thought it would be about what goes into our mouth and the color of our tongue. 🙂

    But this turned out to be a different and also very important element of our tongue – what comes out of our mouth. You’re right, it’s important to watch our language. Still, it amazes me how the same upbringing can have different effects on people. Siblings from the same family can grow up so very differently.

    Maybe because of the other thing you point out: how is our self-talk. It has indeed a big influence on how we see ourselves. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

    • Haha, Hannie! Yes, I can imagine that you are used to natural health and healing, and sustainability from my other websites. It is essential to watch our tongue. The bible also says that what comes out of the mouth defiles us, not what goes into the mouth; how our heart is also shown by using our tongue. We build up or break down people. You are very right that children experience different interactions with the parents. Instabile parents very often have favored children, whereas the other is labeled as the black sheep. The whole matter is quite complicated. But to choose to say loving words is the best we can do. And to embrace ourselves with love and respect. 🙂

  • Hey Sylvie,

    You’re right, words are very powerful – they can wound or heal.

    For me, personally, I believe in saying positive and lifting words of affirmation to my myself, my kids, and literally everyone around me.
    As believers, speaking words of lifting and edification to kids and everyone really in the right manner can encourage and motivate, and even help change negative thought patterns and habits.
    Nice words by the way Sylvie.


    • Thank you very much for your comment, Femi!
      It is great to read that you are positively meeting the needs of your children and your own. As believers, we should only speak the love of God and lifting others, especially children, to help them to live a life self-confident, loving, and respecting others and themselves. It helps them so much even in difficult situations to withstand. Encouragement is lifegiving!
      God bless you, Femi!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *